Online Dating Advice For Men—a woman’s reaction to online dating

Online dating first email and profile advice from a woman

Okay, I promised that I would go through Marlee’s online dating advice and chime in with my comments.

First of all, I think her experience online dating is pretty typical of most girls who try it out for the first time.

A lot of the women I’ve met from online dating sites are new to the online dating world and they tell me the same things Marlee talks about.

I’m going to start out by giving my thoughts on each of her posts and showing you what we should be learning from them. Today I’m going to comment on her “Dipping my toe in the pool of online dating.”

Do you see the VERY FIRST thing she does in her very first post?!? Right away? In her first paragraph?

Rationalizing for online dating
Yep, she rationalizes and makes excuses for trying online dating. This tells us a bunch of things we can use to connect with her, and understand that most people who are dating online have to come up with a reason they are “resorting” to the internet to find love.

First of all this tells us that she is a little embarrassed by giving it a try. If we allay her discomfort, we will make ourselves look really good.

Second, we can give her OUR reasons for online dating, and hopefully they are similar to hers. This will create a small connection we can build on since everyone wants someone who understands them.

Third, we know we need to be a little extra cautious with a girl who says this kind of thing because she is already a little self-conscious and uncomfortable. That means we play it.

Hope of finding the fairytale guy
Next notice how excited she is about the possibility of finding that perfect guy. She puts up her profile knowing that some great man is going to read her profile, become smitten, and send her a note that starts a whirlwind romance.

Now, she doesn’t come right out and say that in those exact words, but that’s the gist of what we see sprinkled throughout her article. And I think that most women want that fantasy of the guy sweeping them off their feet, even a girl as down to earth as Marlee.

This is why I recommend you write the way women think, use language they use, and create images in your emails and profiles the way I talk about in Magnetic Profiles and in this post. Women respond very well to this kind of writing because it hits those emotional triggers.

Disappointment with the reality
Next, notice how quickly she is disappointed by the quality of guys who actually email her. They don’t write in complete sentences, use poor grammar, and write like they are texting, and send her pictures of themselves half naked. This isn’t what she was hoping for when she signed up to online date.

But, that’s good news for you since you’ve been reading this blog and have known from day one not to do these things when you write your first online dating messages.

It’s also good for us because we can quickly separate ourselves from the majority of men who don’t have a clue. I mean come on, how hard is it for us to use tasteful pictures and write well? Not THAT hard, and it puts us WAY ahead of most of the guys who are online.

The “Did you read my profile test”
Another interesting thing she brings up is seeing whether or not guys actually read her profile by telling them to write the word “Green” in the subject like of their message so she knows they read her online dating profile.

I asked her to do this because I wanted to use her profile as another tool so we could get better at online dating. I originally saw this on another woman’s profile and immediately added it to my fake women’s profiles. Marlee’s results are about the same as mine, around one in 40 guys actually reads the profile and puts “Green” in the subject line.

That means that if the girl has something like that in her write-up, and you show that you read her profile… you are in the top 3% right there. It pays to read her profile, especially if you are sending a first email.

Quickly disqualifying men en masse
Another thing I want you to see as Marlee writes about her early experiences online dating is how women HAVE TO be super picky about who they respond to.

They get overwhelmed with messages and MUST weed the idiots out quickly or they will waste a lot of time. For us, that simply means NOT SCREWING IT UP.

See, sometimes it’s not what you do right, it’s what you don’t do wrong. As a philosophy on life and women, I think that’s a pretty bad one because you will always be playing from a position of fear rather than freedom, but for your initial contacts with a girl you meet online, I think it has merit. Keep your messages simple.

You also see in her post how much women guess about a guy even when they have really limited information. AND how much they TRUST THEIR INTUITION.

This means that we have to be really careful about what we say in our profiles and emails. Women are good at reading into things and attractive women are especially good at seeing red flags… sometimes seeing them when they don’t even exist.

Holding on to the dream…
Finally, I think it’s interesting that even though she’s disappointed in a lot of the online dating messages and the profiles she’s seen, she still holds out hope that she’ll find the right guy.

Again, this is good for us because if you are just doing what I tell you to do, you can be that Prince Charming needle-in-the-haystack guy. In fact, after a girl get that initial onslaught of emails, a message from a respectful, normal guy like you will look even better.

Great news for us
All-in-all, everything I’ve written about here is great news for you as a reader of my blog. Because if you’ve been following my advice here or bought some of my products, you are way ahead of the game. I suppose that’s why the guys I coach are doing so well with the online dating game.

And if you are new here, make sure you look around the site and get any products that look like they might work for you. The guys here are in the top 20% of all the guys online dating.